Have you ever heard someone say, “Oh, you can always do IVF”—as if it’s a guaranteed, stress-free path to having a child?
I used to believe that too. But after going through multiple IUIs and IVF cycles, I’ve learned just how misleading that assumption can be. Yes, IVF offers hope. But what’s often missing from glossy articles and medical brochures is the truth—the emotional chaos, the physical toll, the mental strain, and the sheer unpredictability of it all. There’s not enough out there that talks about the real experience. So, I wanted to share my story. Not because I have all the answers—but because I wish I had read something like this when I first started my journey.
A Bit About Me
I’m part of a DINKWAD household—Double Income, No Kids, With A Dog. I got married at 30, and like many couples, we thought we had time. Then COVID hit, and everything paused. It was only after the pandemic that we started trying and quickly realized it might not be as simple for us as it seemed for others.
After rounds of tests, nothing major showed up. But after several failed IUIs, we moved to IVF. I’ve now been through two full IVF cycles—egg retrievals, daily injections, and heartbreaking failed transfers.
The Parts No One Talks About
The hardest part? The two-week wait after every transfer. It’s a special kind of torture—an anxious, all-consuming time where you’re expected to “relax” but feel anything but. It’s like sitting through an exam and waiting weeks for results, only the results are about your future and your dreams.
What’s worse is the emotional limbo. Life doesn’t feel like it’s moving forward. Every decision—from work to vacations—is made with IVF in mind. Eventually, I started tying my self-worth to this one goal. Achievements at work felt muted. Celebrations felt distant.
Eventually, I broke. I hit a point where I just couldn’t do it anymore. I needed a pause—a moment to breathe, reflect, and reclaim myself.
Where I Am Now
Right now, I’m in that pause. I’m weighing my options—whether to try one last cycle, explore adoption, or embrace a child-free life. And for the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m making space for myself again.
What Helped Me Stay Grounded
If you’re going through this, or know someone who is, here are a few things that helped me survive the emotional storm:
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- Books: Reading philosophy and self-help gave me new ways to think, and reminded me to be grateful for what is—not just what’s missing.
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- Travel: Exploring new places gave me perspective and helped break the cycle of obsessive thinking.
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- Community: IVF forums helped me realize I’m not alone. In a strange way, not being unique was comforting.
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- Exercise: It helped clear my head and made me feel stronger in a process that often makes you feel powerless. I tried the 12-3-30 treadmill workout, which was easy to bake into my routine. I could watch a movie in the background or listen to podcast and achieve my daily workout goals
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- Hard Conversations: Talking openly with my partner about the “what ifs” helped us regain some control and set shared expectations.
IVF is not just a medical procedure—it’s a journey through hope, heartbreak, resilience, and rediscovery. If you’re in the middle of it, take care of yourself. Take breaks. Ask questions. Have the tough conversations. And most of all, know that your story matters—even if it looks different from everyone else’s.
Thanks for reading. If this resonated with you, feel free to share or comment below—I’d love to hear your story too.
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